Using strategy, horsepower, and good timing, Brad Keselowski was able to challenge Dale Earnhardt Jr. for the lead. But it was a single person who helped him win: Rubina.
"We added Rubina in to our Framily plan earlier this week, and we're already seeing the results", Keselowski said after spraying a can of Miller Lite in his own eyes. "I'd kiss her right now, if my eyes didn't feel like they were on fire."
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| Rubina (on right) |
Rubina was present in Victory Lane, escorted there by Brad Keselowski's aunt.
"Wait a minute--are the bills separate?" Rubina asked amid a shower of confetti.
Team owner Roger Penske was coy when asked what exactly Rubina does for the team.
"Look--its not important what she does, who she is, or even what her last name is", Penske said while wearing a "I Got A Hole-In-One" baseball cap. "What's important is that we're in the Chase, and now we can spend the next 23 races screwing around."
Other drivers were more-understanding of their loss to Keselowski upon hearing of Rubina's influence.
"Wait--they had Rubina?", Dale Jr. said upon exiting his car. "Jeez, no wonder we lost. All we could get is Sketchy Jeff--though I still agree with him that our team needs 'More Beard'".
"You know, I race for a top-flight team, my family is wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, but there's one thing I won't have--Rubina", third-place finisher Paul Menard said on pit lane. "Do you know if we could get her for next week's race? I mean, I'm all ears--I don't have anywhere I have to be this evening."