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| Nascar.com's server |
"Hey Jimmie Johnson fans! Your driver just won his 6th Sprint Cup Championship! Go on to Nascar.com and attempt to navigate our impossible website! If you find our shop, you'll find all sorts of great merchandise, and even those bizarre championship ring hats the 48 crew was wearing! Be sure to enter code 'SIXPACK' for a free Brian France bobble-chin! Order today!"
"Hey Denny Hamlin fans! Your driver just won his first Cup race of the season! A terrible, injurious year finally comes to a close with a surprise win--remember it with special 'I Survived 2013' t-shirts, hats, and commemorative back-braces! Be one of our first 100 customers and you could win a day with Elliott Sadler OR JJ Yeley! Order today!"
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| It STILL has the COT wing |
"Hey Bobby Labonte fans! Your driver just had his best race of the season by not racing! Celebrate it with ALL
Bobby Labonte merchandise 95% off! That's right, remember all the highlights of the past three years--that decent run at Daytona, that Fan Vote win at the All-Star race--with the Kingsford and Clorox merchandise you love! Order today!"
"Hey Tony Raines fan! Could you come by the shop tomorrow? We think you left your cellphone here."