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Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Plan To Finish 2nd Works Perfectly



While Jamie McMurray was in Victory Lane, celebrating his win in the Camping World 500, Dale Earnhardt Jr. was in his pit stall, celebrating the success of his plan to finish in second place.
"Everything worked out perfectly", said a triumphant Dale Jr. upon exiting his car.  "With about 5 laps to go, I told my guys on the radio, 'I got a plan', and that was the truth.  I knew that I could position myself to get what I really wanted, which was to be the first runner up again.  That's what Nascar's all about!"
Image courtesy Nascar Outlaws
Earnhardt Jr. gave a number of reasons for wanting to finish second to the surrounding group of reporters.
"Well, first of all, I don't have to answer questions in the press room from Mark Ashenfelter, so that's a victory in itself.  I'd have to do a bunch of interviews tomorrow, and I really want to get the score of the (Washington Red)Skins game as soon as possible.  Besides, I'd much rather be consistent and run runner up than scare a bunch of people by finishing in first somewhere other than Michigan--how bizarre would THAT be for me?"
Despite seemingly being the only driver trying to finish second instead of first, Dale Jr. seemed very satisfied with his weekend in Talladega.
"On Friday I bent the laws of time and space by running in 0th place, then yesterday I got a really good BBQ pork sandwich.  And today, I come in second.  That just goes to show you what a man, a plan, and a burning desire to be second-best can do for you."