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| "I want you to race my car, Cole...I mean, Max...wait, what am I doing here?" |
Last night Tony Stewart broke his leg in a sprint car crash. The wreck will keep him out of Sprint Cup action for the near-future, necessitating a substitute driver. While the long-term substitute remains unknown, Max Papis has been tabbed to pilot the #14 GoDaddy/Mobil1 Chevy this upcoming weekend at the Watkins Glen road course. But who is Max Papis? Glad you asked!
--Max's actual first name is "Massimiliano", which sounds like either a 15th-century Italian count, or an upgrade package on the Fiat 500.
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| "Take THAT, whatshisname rookie from, um, Rouse?" |
--Max's first big-time racing experience was in Formula One, running for a backmarker team called "Footwork". Much like me on the dance floor, the Footwork was very slow and awkward.
--The pinnacle of Max's career so far have been three Champ Car/CART wins in 2000-2001. Max left the decaying series, saying "Champ Car needs me more than I need it", which would be conceited if it weren't true for everybody in racing at the time (except maybe for Paul Tracy).
--Max has one of the most cumbersome Wikipedia pages I have ever read. Here's a few highlights: "His BFF driver who raced with him in Formula 1, Alex Zanadri…", "…nearly had a top ten running at Talladega…", "…Papis held onto other drivers in the top ten…".
--Sure, we all know about Max's run-ins with other competitors, but that's all because of a massive PAPis Smear campaign.
--Some experts are saying that, while stepping into someone else's car is always difficult, Max's experience gives him and the 14 team a "puncher's chance" to succeed at The Glen. Billy Johnson, meanwhile, says he has more of a "slapper's chance".