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Junior Johnson Arrested by FBI in Victory Lane



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A wild finish to today's Sprint Cup race had a sour coda in Victory Lane, as former moonshiner Junior Johnson was arrested by the FBI for outstanding warrants.
"We'd just like to thank Mr. (Rick) Hendrick for cooperating with us" said FBI Special Agent Glen Mills.  "Mr. H had some, lets just say, reasons to cooperate with us, and we'll be sure to go easy on him the next time he doesn't want to pay people overtime."
Johnson, who appeared shocked as he was placed in handcuffs, exclaimed, "I thought we took care of this in the 50s boys!", and wondered how he could be arrested on a decades-old trafficking charge.
"C'mon, I was pardoned, I served my time on the state farm, I don't gotta go back!" Johnson pleaded.  He then quieted up when he was threatened by FBI agents with a taser.
"Its great to win, and its great to see justice served", winning driver Jimmie Johnson said upon exiting his car.  "Agent Mills warned us about this years ago, so we just had to string Junior along for about 40 months.  To see a great plan like this finally come together is really satisfying."
Hendrick later admitted that he felt bad lying to Junior Johnson that he was his "lucky charm".
"Sure, its never fun to lie, but he should've seen right through it", Hendrick said.  "I mean come on--anyone who watches my race team knows that guys named Junior don't help me win anything."