Well, our old friend Kurt Busch had a meltdown. Again. And he got into a scuffle. Again. And he got put on probation. Again. But what exactly does "probation" mean in Nascar? We got a hold of the Nascar Rulebook to find out the specifics
--Kurt is forced to write "I will not say I hate my job when so many people would kill to do what I do" 500 times on a blackboard, a la Bart Simpson.
--Kurt must remember to thank his primary sponsor, White Paint.
--Kurt must remember to thank his secondary sponsor, Red Paint.
--Kurt cannot have anymore cosmetic surgery, no matter how much he wants that butt implant.
--Kurt must refrain from any of life's vices, excepting the smooth, rich flavor of Winston brand cigarettes. (I'm assuming they forgot to take this out.)
--Kurt will be strapped into a chair and forced to watch ALL of Clint Bowyer's commercials (this might take a few weeks).
--Kurt must go back to Phoenix and agree to take that "gay-ass sobriety test".
--Kurt will be force-fed 10 shots of rum, then will be allowed to be pushed down a flight of stairs by Ryan Newman.
--Fans will no longer be forced to act surprised when something like this happens. The media, however, will still be forced to act surprised.