Dear Robby,
How have you been? How are things going with your energy drink? Is your off-road team doing well? OK, well, lets cut the chit-chat and talk about the real reason we're writing you.
We want you back.
That's right, we want you back in Cup. We know that your team is very underfunded. And we know that you prefer to only run a limited schedule of "fun" races. But forget all that--we need you.
The last handful of races have been dreadfully boring without you. You provide that "je ne sais quoi" we need as fans--"je ne sais quoi" meaning "late caution" in this instance.
You see, wether it was a spinout with 7 laps to go while you're three laps down, debris falling off your car as we enter a pit window, or just holding up the leader in lapped traffic, YOU were the one that made this sport exciting. Without you, its just green flag racing and boring cautions.
We've tried to find someone who could do what you do, but we've failed. Juan Pablo Montoya, bless his heart, he either does too much (hello jet dryer) or too little (hello Gatorade bottle). There's just no replacing you.
So please come back, Robby.
Please.
Sincerely,
Nascar Fans