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Tony vs. Joey: Tale of the Tape

You GOTTA tell me the secret to
getting everyone to hate you!

Tony Stewart, Nascar's most-passionate driver, is now in a war of words, shoves, and water bottles with Joey Logano.  Apparently the Curse of the Penske 22 has gotten a hold of Logano, who has started picking fights with numerous members of Nascar's elite.  Before this explodes into an all-out brawl, here's a breakdown of the matchup…

Team Owner(s)
Tony Stewart--Himself and Gene Haas, a convicted felon.
Joey Logano--Roger Penske, of the Penske File Fame.

Sponsors
Tony Stewart--Bass Pro Shops, Mobil 1, a truck center that is apparently in a rush.
Joey Logano--Auto Club, Pennzoil/Shell (I am required by Nascar to put Shell after Pennzoil).

Old Nickname
Tony Stewart--The rocket that is also apparently in a rush
Joey Logano--Sliced Bread (from Randy LaJoie, a man known to get the munchies).

Current Nickname
Tony Stewart--Smoke (…on the watttterrrrr)
Joey Logano--Joey-Joe-Joe Junior…Shabadoo?

Looks Like
Tony Stewart--Your Dad's friend who wanted to take you to a strip club when you turned 18.
Joey Logano--"He's that guy you used to know who works at a Kinney Shoes and won't leave you alone".

Body Type
Tony Stewart--Middle-aged Nascar driver.
Joey Logano--Guy who's been to one too many Motocross events.

Takes Out His Aggression On...
Tony Stewart--…cameramen, reporters, other drivers, cars, etc.
Joey Logano--…Twitter.

Thing They Stole From Joe Gibbs Racing
Tony Stewart--Nascar-themed M&M's vending machine.
Joey Logano--Commemorative Super Bowl XXVI Jeff Bostic jersey.

Nascar Record In Sights
Tony Stewart--Most wins by a driver-owner not named Petty.
Joey Logano--Enemies made in a single-season (currently held by Rusty Wallace for every season he raced).