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Matt Kenseth's Watch Wins at Kansas



After a video review by Nascar's competition directors, the REAL winner of today's race has been revealed to be Matt Kenseth's Watch, not Matt Kenseth as previously thought.
"We analyzed the video, and saw that it was Matt's watch that crossed the finish-line first in the 17 car--er, I mean 20 car.  Dang, its tough getting used to that!", said Nascar Director of Competition and Debris Cautions David Hoots.  "With that being said, the win will officially be credited to Matt Kenseth's Watch, while Matt Kenseth The Person will be credited with 2nd place."
"Wooooo!  We did it!", the exuberant watch said upon climbing out of the winning Toyota Camry.  "You know, I've really been running in Matt's shadow for years now, and he's a great racer AND a true champion--but today belongs to me, Matt Kenseth's Watch!"  Kasey Kahne, who had been relegated to third place, then came over to shake the watch's minute hand.
"We're so proud to see such a valued member of our team get a victory", team owner Joe Gibbs said in Victory Lane.  "From helping Matt know if he's going to catch the early SportsCenter, to helping Matt know if he's going to catch the late SportsCenter, Matt Kenseth's Watch has done us a real service over the years."
Gibbs added that the watch would be getting a diecast "race run" car, pleasing both current diecast collectors.  He also said that a run of t-shirts, bearing the "Watch Out for Watch!" slogan, would be available by Tuesday evening.
"Believe me, I don't like coming in second", Matt Kenseth The Person said on pit road, "but if I had to come in second, I'm glad its to one of my best friends.  I just hope that Brad Keselowski's TV Panel wasn't hurt too badly today."